If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize