all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
