it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
