if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
