I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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