I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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