Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
