Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
