It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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