i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So much Jack, so little girl.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
