And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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