Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
