other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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