nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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