well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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