If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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