oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
