Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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