the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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