Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize