It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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