It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
