what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
