; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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