Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
