It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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