Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
