Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She bit a glass in half.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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