Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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