Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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