True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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