did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
