Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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