Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there's paper in my vomit.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
