My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
