hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
