i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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