God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.