Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
