Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
