some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
