I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders