SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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