No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito