Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed