I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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