Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..

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(416): View more from Toronto

When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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(316): View more from Kansas

You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.

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(706): View more from Georgia

This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders

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