i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
