you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
