the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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