He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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