Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
