Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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