we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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