Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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