so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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