I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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