It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
