Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
