but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
