oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
