This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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