I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
