I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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