god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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