so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
