NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
