so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
