"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
